


X-Treme Silliness

by jdjunkie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s05e12 Wormhole X-Treme, Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-30
Updated: 2011-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-15 05:56:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdjunkie/pseuds/jdjunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Daniel watch the pilot ep of Wormhole X-Treme</p>
            </blockquote>





	X-Treme Silliness

“So, where’s Teal’c?” Jack landed on the sofa with a heavy thump. Daniel sighed and scooched over to make room, making a production number of removing a piece of popcorn from his lap. Jack pretended not to to notice as he placed the bowl between them.

“Playing Hero Clix with Siler.”

“Carter?”

“Watching live streaming of some project with that Hadron Collider thingy.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. It could eventually produce the elusive Higgs boson. The last unobserved particle in the Standard Model. Or we could eventually vanish up our own black holes. Or something.” Daniel futzed with the remote, bringing up endless soaps and something disturbing about the sex life of the manatee.

“Or something. She so needs to get a life.”

“Science _is_ her life.”

“There’s so much that’s wrong about that sentence.” Jack made a grab for the controller, snatching it just as Daniel hit the latest Poochinsky ep. Daniel moved through more channels quickly. Jack smiled to himself. He’d catch it later on repeat. Daniel hated the show. Jack loved it. If he made a fuss about watching it now, things could turn ugly. Fast.

“Pity they couldn’t make it. They’d have loved this.” Jack reached for a tape that had been sitting on the coffee table. He waved the cassette in Daniel’s face.

“What is it?”

“The pilot episode of Wormhole X-Treme!”

“What?” Daniel was impressed. Jack was smug.

“How the hell did you get a copy of that? It was canceled after the first ep and the master tape destroyed.” Daniel was excited. That made Jack excited.

“I have my ways. They are many and mysterious.” Jack moved to put the tape in the machine.

“Oh God. You slept with someone, didn’t you?”

Jack smiled. Enigmatically, he thought.

“Was it that fucking tech sergeant who handles all the briefing room stuff? The one with the cute goatee beard?”

“Jealousy, thy name is Daniel Jackson. Sweet.”

Daniel pouted. “I’m not jealous, just … curious.”

“Shut up and put your feet in my lap. It’s starting.”

Daniel complied, taking charge of the popcorn in the process.

They watched the credits, Daniel frowning at the tackily-colored Gate chevrons, Jack admiring the stuntwork.

They nibbled on the popcorn, hands mingling in the bowl, brushing briefly. Jack wanted to lick Daniel’s fingers, then lick the rest of him. Screw the TV. He wanted to screw Daniel.

But Daniel was too thrilled at the viewing experience to notice Jack’s growing desire, which was going to be all too obvious in roughly a minute or so.

“He’s great, isn’t he?” Daniel grinned, as Dr Lavant fought for the rights of the aliens with the transparent skulls. “So passionate and caring.”

“Oh, I don’t know, He’d probably be a pain in the ass to work with.” Jack chewed on the popcorn. Daniel sulked. “Not … like you. Obviously.” Jack suspected the damage was done.

On screen, Colonel Danning was smooching the alien space hottie of the week, then casting her aside ten seconds later in favor of a younger model.

“Hey! That guy’s from Planet Jerk-off. It’s a travesty.”

Danning then spent five minutes arguing with the talented and beautiful but clearly unlucky-in-love Major Stacey Monroe over problems with the positronic field emitters.

“Huh.  No chemistry between those two. You can’t manufacture it, Daniel. It’s either there or it isn’t. And _he_ behaves like an asshole. I do NOT do that!”

“Um, yes. Sometimes. You do. Actually,” Daniel said absently, shoveling tiny popcorn kernels into his mouth.

Jack tilted his head thoughtfully. “He’s right about one thing though. It should say colonel on my uniform. I’ll get onto it on Monday.” Then he harrumphed and hit the off button. He had a hard-on with Daniel’s name on it.

“Hey! I was enjoying that!” Daniel protested, trying to snatch the remote from Jack’s hand, which allowed Jack to pull him in for a thorough kissing.

“But you enjoy that more,” Jack retorted, confident in his seductive powers.

Daniel kissed him back. Harder. “Maybe.”

Jack pushed Daniel back into the sofa cushions and started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Hey,” he said, leaning down to nibble a nipple, “it’s what I do.”


End file.
